If you have had your fair share of relationship break ups, you may be experiencing destructive relationship patterns and not be aware of it. It is important that you become aware of the dynamics of destructive relationship patterns so you can experience a wonderful and rewarding relationship.
Do you realize that your partner mirrors a reflection of who you really are? If you’re caught up in destructive patterns, either you, your partner, or both of you, don’t know who you really are. The good news is that you can change this.
Examples of destructive relationship patterns
Here is a list of destructive relationship patterns that have held many in bondage:
- Projecting onto your partner what you don’t like about yourself
- Codependence, or caretaking for approval
- Emotional problems
- Intolerance or requiring perfection
- Inability to face life’s problems that arise
- Communication difficulties
If you can relate to some or many of these characteristics, it is time to take a good look at yourself and stop pointing fingers at your partner. You can only change yourself. Relationships will improve if less finger pointing and more self-reflection occurs. Reflect and see if you recognize some of the following common destructive relationship patterns within yourself.
Are you continually jealous? Do you continually nag or complain to your partner? Are you controlling? Are you immature or lazy? Do you expect everything to be handed to you? Do you take everything personal? Do you keep falling for the guy or girl that is emotionally unavailable or treats you badly?
How to change destructive relationship patterns
If you are stuck in destructive relationship patterns, consider seeing a relationship counselor, as he or she will help you identify what may really be going on. It might not be what you think. You can go yourself or go as a couple. If you really want to see change within yourself and your relationship, take the initiative to do something different. You won’t get any different results unless you do something in which you have not been doing.
Relationships take time, energy, and a good dose of wisdom certainly helps. Plenty of couples have grown in this area, improving their relationship with self and with each other. There are a plethora of websites, books and audio resources that can help you out as well. Why not learn from others who have already been there?
Desire to change is the first step. If you have the desire, you can do just about anything you want to. Be determined to change things around for the better. It’s time to stop the destructive relationship patterns and begin healthy relationship patterns.