Dating after a break up can sometimes be difficult for a variety of reasons. Relationships that have gone sour can have profound effects on the emotions and leave a person feeling very wounded, angry, scared, and a host of other negative emotions. Before you begin dating after a break up, there are certain things that you should consider.
Allow time for healing and reflection
First, it is extremely important that you take some time to opt out of the dating world to allow time for healing and reflection. Break ups normally hurt and there are lessons to be learned if you allow yourself to look inside and become more aware. Take as much time as you need to heal any wounds. Increase your self-esteem and self-love, and make it your aim to become “whole” on your own.
Too many times people end a relationship only to jump right into dating or another relationship because they don’t want to be alone. This often makes for an unhealthy and toxic relationship. Sometimes it is good to be alone so that you can have that time to grow. You can think about your part in the failed relationship and work on growing in those areas.
Don’t dwell on the past
When you do begin dating after a break up, it is important not to let bad memories or bitterness interfere with the new dating season. The past is the past and the future can be what you want it to be. The new people that you date should have a clean slate so don’t measure them up to past partners, and don’t assume they are one way or another just because your last partner was of a certain temperament. Give every date a chance.
Take small steps forward
It can be a fearful time dating after a break up and you may be filled with anxiety. Some nervousness is normal. Meeting new people can evoke anxiousness for even the most confident people. Actually, fear holds a great deal of people back from dating after a break up. They opt to sit home and let the fear rule them, instead of plunging forward with courage despite the fear.
A new beginning is stimulating. When you enter a new territory, you will be faced with both scary and exciting emotions at the same time. This is all part of a new beginning, so don’t let these emotions stop you. Keep moving forward; one little step at a time.
Get involved in activities that you enjoy
Maybe you are not sure where you will be able to find dates. That is typical for many grown adults who basically just go to work and go home. You may consider getting involved in community activities, such as an athletic league, church, support group, or volunteer group. Getting out to engage in activities that you enjoy, gives you the opportunity to meet potential dates that enjoy the same things.
Online dating after a break up is also an option. Plenty of people have met online, dated, and some even get married. There are an abundance of online dating sites and utilizing those opens up doors for you to meet people you might never have met out in the community.
Dating after a break up can be bittersweet, but if you really want to find your soul mate, or at least someone that you are quite compatible with, take some time to gather yourself and get to it. Have fun with it!