Set yourself free with the truth and become the happy and successful person that you are supposed to be. In this video Martha Beck and Oprah discuss how to live your truth. Don’t forget the summary below.
Summary: “The Truth Will Set You Free” by Martha Beck
Success is not fed by pretense. As long as you are pretending to be something that you are not, you will never ever be someone who you are supposed to be; you will never maximize what you are meant to do in your life. The truth will set you free.
Martha Beck’s Personal Experience
Martha Beck had a life changing experience when she was 28 years old. She needed surgery and was in a near death situation. As Martha stared in the bright surgery light she saw the most beautiful color that can’t be described and this touched her deeply. This light that she explains as the “conscious being”, started to grow and as it touched her she felt peace, love, joy, and home. This overwhelming feeling made her cry. As her doctor noticed her tears he intuitively understood that Martha’s tears weren’t out of pain, but out of joy and therefore didn’t give her any pain medication. At the same time Martha Beck got the message from this light / “conscious being” that you don’t have to wait and die to feel this good, but you are supposed to feel all these positive emotions as you live. Since Martha Beck didn’t receive any increased medication and realized that this experience wasn’t because of any drugs. She was determined to reach the same place of happiness as she had experienced. Martha Beck now had a reference point to how one is supposed to feel and discovered that as soon as she didn’t tell the truth that resonated with her inner self, she lost that happy feeling. Her instructions were very specific, if something didn’t feel good as she spoke, she understood that she was not being truthful.
This was her awakening and she had now found the key to happiness: to always be truthful to herself.
Why Do People Pretend?
Back in 1997, people were very surprised when Ellen DeGeneres revealed that she was gay, and couldn’t understand why she didn’t keep pretending to be something that she was not. They thought that life would be a lot easier for her if she kept pretending to be straight. She had the courage to stand up for her inner truth and happiness, and has inspired many people to follow her lead. We have come a long way since then, but many people are still pretending to be something that they are not. Why?
The biggest reason for pretending is fear. Many people pretend to be happy and say that everything is ok, when they are not, because they are afraid of what would happen if someone found out the truth. If you go with fear it may feel that it is “protecting” you, but internally you will eventually lose that sense of joy in life. Martha Beck explains that even if it scares you, telling the truth is always the safest option in the long term. Martha Beck gives you a perfect affirmation on this: “The more I use my strength in the service of my vision, the less it matters whether I am afraid”.
Also, if you pretend to be someone that you are not in a relationship, and perhaps your partner/friend is doing the same, you will never create a real relationship. A fake relationship can never nourish your soul.
How Do You Tell The Truth?
Martha Beck advices you to tell the truth as kindly as possible, especially if you know that it is going to hurt many people. Also, stick to the truth of your own experience. For example, instead of saying “You are mean to me”, say “I feel…..”, “This situation makes me feel….angry, sad, furious, confused etc.” Don’t focus on the other person; focus on yourself and your feelings.
How do you tell the truth about your relationship? How do you explain that you want a real relationship where you express your authentic selves? Martha Beck’s advice is to explain to yourself and your partner that you are enough and perfect just the way you are, and because of that you want your partner to tell you who he/she really is.
Keeping Secrets Make You Sick
Ask yourself: “What secrets are you sick of keeping?”. Many research show that keeping secrets actually make you sick. As soon as we lie, our heart beat and perspiration go up, and our strength goes down. As an experiment, hold up your right hand in front of you (if you are right handed). Now, ask someone to push your hand down as you say “I love to be sick” (which of course is a lie). You will notice that you have no strength in your arm, because you have just lied. Now tell something that is true, for example “I love my dogs” and ask someone to push down your hand again. You will notice that it is impossible to push down your hand when you are telling the truth.
Be Truthful To Yourself
Lies don’t have to be about “big” things. You should be aware of the small things as well; your everyday activities. For example, if you would rather go out for a walk, instead of going to the gym then acknowledge that. Maybe you need to change your exercise routines. Be truthful to yourself as much as possible, even with the small things.
How Do We Recognize The Truth?
Our judgments (about ourselves and others) come from the ego, not your true self. If we want to be truthful to ourselves and stop listening to the ego, we must learn to recognize our ego. So, how do we recognize these judgments, lies and opinions? How do we recognize the truth?
You will always know if you are telling the truth about yourself (and others) by listening to how your body feels as you express your opinions about yourself and others.
Let’s say that you are ashamed of something within yourself. Martha Beck explains that the thing you are most ashamed of is attached to a thought in your head (your ego) that basically says “you are bad”. This is a lie, because you feel bad as you think bad things about yourself. You are perfect as you are right now. The actual thing that is holding you back is your greatest opportunity in your life as you accept yourself as the beautiful person you are right now.
Give yourself time alone to be still, and to reconnect with your inner self. As you become still, you will start knowing what you want for yourself. The reconnection with your inner self will also inspire you to act more truthful. As this happens, your self-love will grow and you will feel happier.